Be Confident, Not Vulnerable

In Mind Creation by William TaitLeave a Comment

Why is every blogger so sentimental these days?

Seriously, go to Medium and you’ll see a plethora of bloggers crying about something. 

I am not sure whether to offer a tissue or run away.

They are oppressed, they are offended, they overcame the “impossible” (which is normally something hilarious like starting an Etsy shop selling homemade jewelry or trying a meme diet for a week and feeling “internally rejuvenated”).

Or worse, it’s some long-winded, boring journal entry about their inner feelings disguised as a self-help guide that no one asked for. It’s more lame than watching grown adults play with fidget spinners.

My favorite ones are the – “I quit my cushy job and traveled the world and here is what I learned.”

What did you learn?

Did you learn how to sit in an airplane and go through the sky? Did you learn how to take pictures of different places? Did you learn how to eat “ethnic” food?

In all seriousness and jokes aside, traveling is an amazing experience. It’s just taken on this whole other meaning where everyone feels they need to “find their inner self” by visiting some random place in the slums of India.

I turn on the radio, it’s guys crying about not getting a woman. I turn on the TV, someone is offended or oppressed. I go online, it’s an article about how everything sucks.

Holy crap guys relax haha. Not everything is doom-and-gloom.

What most don’t understand is this. Fear is a marketing tool that has been around for centuries.

But, with the instant gratification and total ass-blasting of information we get on a daily basis, companies have had to out-do each other with crazy fear click bait titles. Instead of normal headlines, we get headlines that are absolutely insane.

But, since everyone is ramping things up to 11, all the time, we become desensitized to it. Basically, fear is beginning to lose it’s power. Every time I check the news, I feel like I am going to die. 

People are growing numb to sensationalist titles and news. Decades of the same buzzwords have aged us, so now, the new trigger is vulnerability. Whoever is the weakest, is the strongest.

BUT WILLIAM WHY DO THEY WANT TO BE WEAK

Because it creates attention.

Just like fear, it’s hard to turn away from a sense of helplessness. We want to help in someway, or it’s an amazing story of redemption, or we internally laugh at them for being an idiot.

The more attention you get, the more that attention can be converted into dollar signs. Since fear is losing it’s power, weakness is taking it’s place. They are simply using vulnerability as a marketing tool.

WHAT HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO US WILLIAM

Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place to show your soft side and explain a wonderful story.

But, understand the principles first. Use vulnerability like a specialized weapon, not an arsenal. 

1. What You Say and Write – You Become

HURRR DURRR YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK – RENE DESCARTES. 

Do you want to feel weak and oppressed? Talk about it and you become it.

Do you want to be strong, and confident? Just think it, and it happens.

People think that by airing out their grievances for the world to see, that it helps in their healing process. Or it builds their image.

This is true, to an extent. It does help to get it out there and talk to others.

The key is moderation. What most don’t understand is that if your foundation is built on this weakness, or your branding is built off of weakness only, while you may get attention, it may not convert into sales at a higher percentage versus a more confident approach.

You can technically alternate between the two states of mind – I know I do.

But in my writing, sometimes I will be confident, sometimes I will show a softer side. I alternate between the two for special cases and for special emphasis on important topics.

If it’s not apart of your branding, you don’t have to follow the current trend of being super honest about your life journey. Just mix it up, have a good dose of both confidence in your messaging and a weak side to show humility, and throw in some comedy. 

2. People Secretly Admire Confidence, Whether They Admit It Or Not

This is not that alpha/beta stuff that I read about on forums. This is just human nature.

Leaders happen naturally in dire times or social settings. If a society does not have a leader, and it’s built on a community vote, then nothing will get accomplished because a community vote encompasses the weak’s opinions.

In these communities, social morality takes precedence over rational thinking and creates a therapy session instead of a mission session. 

On the flip side, if a society or tribe creates established leadership roles, then the tribe will flourish. Even with technology, this is still relevant today.

Basically, everyone wants to be heard, but only the confident ones will be followed. 

3. Showing weakness is a never ending cycle

If you’re starting position comes from confidence, you can tip-toe into the sea of vulnerability.

But if your starting point is already out in the sea, it’s hard to get back to shore.

You will always find something to be offended or held down by. It’s a never ending battle that has no boss and no end goal. 

In reality, admit that you will step on some toes. It’s better to show your work, in it’s truest form, than to please others. It’s the only way to get true attention.

People aren’t that scary, just remember that. You don’t have to bow down to anything or anyone. Being confident in yourself is a good thing.

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